The spring semester started and Lukus and I took an independent course together in kissing.  We studied for that class a lot, and consistently earned “A+’s” for every assignment and extra credit project.  It was certainly one of our favorite courses.

It was springtime, and we weren’t the only couple taking an independent study in romance.  Along with the tulips and dogwoods, new couples were springing up everywhere.  Some were absolutely predictable, like the beauty queen and the male model, and some were, well, so wrong that they made Spring file for insurance for the impending malpractice lawsuit (you know who you are, creepy hair-brushing trio).  ORU has an extremely high percentage of classmates that get married, and the inside jokes are usually “I’m getting my MRS degree” or “Ring by Spring!”

The entire school was twitterpated, including me and Lukus, and it bothered me.  We were only sophomores, after all.  Our freshman year was just breaking the college ice.  I wanted the full college experience (well, not the typical one of parties and booze all the time), but I wanted to get involved, whether it was a missions trip to an exotic country, or student government, or just meeting some new people (so long as it wasn’t the hair-brushing trio).  I loved Lukus, and I wanted to keep dating him, but I wanted to do other things too, not just study kissing all the time.

Okay, I get it:  I’m a fickle girl.  First I want him to kiss me, then I want him to back off.  I wasn’t expecting him to read my mind, and I wasn’t trying to play any twisted control games.  But that’s not how Lukus thought of it when I told him we needed to back-up a bit.  Somehow, he heard “stop kissing for a while” and took it as “stop seeing each other”.  It turned into Ross and Rachel’s “We were on a break!” episode before the “We were on a break!” episode even aired, and oddly enough, only weeks before it aired.  There must have been something in the air.

I waited for Lukus the morning after our talk to walk to class.  He didn’t come.  When I got to class, he was already there, and there was something dreadfully different.  His beautiful blonde hair was shaved, and the sad, remaining stubs were bleached dirty Q-tip yellow.  It was the ORU guy’s “I-just-broke-up-with-a-girl-so-I-shaved-her-out-of-my-head” signature.  He would barely look at me, and when I tentatively said “hi”, he bitterly grunted a “hello” in return.  When I tried to talk to him, he blew me off.

I was dumbfounded.  And heartbroken.  So that was it?  He was done with me?  I wanted to take a break from making-out, and he was throwing in the towel?  That didn’t sound like Lukus.  But still, as I played all the possible scenarios in my head of what he might be thinking, I still couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t fight for me?  I mean, we weren’t just dating, we were best friends!  I had no idea what to do.

So, I did nothing.  I wasn’t going to be the needy, begging girl-friend who was the only one willing to fight for the relationship.  But Lukus’ silence was deafening.  It could be felt as I walked to class alone, as I sat in class with slight acquaintances, and even as I ate with my new roommate in the cafeteria for the first time ever.  Oh, how I missed my old roommate, Mandy!  She knew how to make me laugh and temporarily distract me from my heartache.  But she was gone for the semester as an intern at a youth camp.  And Brenden and Renee were still in romantic bliss, so no comfort there.  Not to mention that Valentine’s Day was quickly approaching.  It was really bad timing for a broken heart.

“Maybe this is for the best?”  I thought to myself.  “Maybe I was too dependent on Lukus and we weren’t branching out enough.  Maybe we were better off as just friends.  Maybe we were just too different.  Or maybe, he’s a giant, cold-hearted jerk WHO NEVER REALLY CARED ABOUT ME AT ALL AND I NEVER WANNA SEE HIM AGAIN!!!”  This was followed by a torrential downpour of tears, snot and slobber.

If only there were a Friends episode that could help me now.