On Thursday, Lukus and I have an appointment to check out a school for Taytem, and I have a lot of mixed feelings about this.  I know, I know, we’re devoted home-schoolers, but this isn’t any ordinary school.  This is a private, classical academy that only has two school days a week, with the rest of the week completed at home.  In a lot of ways, it’s like having the best of both worlds, but I’m still nervous.

See, the thing is, I had this wonderful image in my mind about home-schooling – an image that so many other home-school bloggers present so beautifully.  I imagined waking up at 6 a.m. with plenty of time to get my own stuff taken care of: time with God, working-out, a shower AND time to put make-up on, then breakfast ready for my family to wake up to.  We’d eat together, Lukus would read some scriptures before heading off to work, then the girls and I would do a couple of chores before heading outside for some sunshine and fresh air.  Once we’d expended a bit of outdoor energy and enjoyed some nature, we’d go inside with a pre-planned self-learning activity for Eisley while Taytem and I got through Bible, math and grammar.  We’d take a little break for a healthy snack, maybe play outside a bit more, then head back inside for Eisley to take a nap and for Taytem to work on history, science, Spanish and art.  Then Taytem would take a nap while I worked on my blog, got some laundry done and a bathroom cleaned.  I’d read a chapter in a book, study some photography skills or work on a design project.  Then I’d start dinner just as my girls were waking up and they’d get out some of their arts and crafts materials while I cooked a healthy and appetizing chicken bruschetta.  A day of wonder!

And it certainly IS a day of wonder – as in “I wonder how I pulled that day off that one time, but not anymore,” or “I wonder if that day will ever happen again?” or “I wonder if that day ever existed at all?”

But because Lukus and I are usually up until 12:30, and I literally cannot function without 8.5 hours of sleep, our day usually looks like this:  Lukus gets up at 6 a.m., works-out, then leaves for work at 8:30 before I’m even awake.  My alarm clock is Eisley, sitting in her crib saying, “Mama, I eat!  Mama, I eat!” with the same annoying urgency as a real alarm clock, except Eisley does not have a snooze button.  I drag myself out of bed and instead of taking a shower and changing my clothes, my day starts in p.j.’s changing a poopy diaper.  We wrap up “brunch” at 9:30 or 10, and my girls start whining and arguing when I tell them they need to get dressed and go play outside, because I have yet to have a quiet moment to gather my thoughts for the day.

Instead of going outside, they follow me around while I pick up the messes they left the night before, and after a few moments of this, it occurs to me that this is not my job.  I tell Taytem to take care of her messes and go clean up her room.  She whines.  Eisley, in the meantime, is thwarting my efforts and Taytem’s by dumping things out while we’re putting things away.  I find Taytem in her room, thirty minutes later, room untouched by cleaning efforts, and Taytem is cutting paper into teeny tiny pieces that will end up all over the floor.  Still in my pajamas, I’m about ready to give up on any progress for the day and I get on-line.  I check e-mails, waste time on Facebook, delude myself that I’m not wasting time on Pinterest, and read a couple of my favorite blogs – all while my children are telling me that they’re already hungry again.  I give them a lunch that is a compromise between healthy and what they’ll actually eat, then I turn on My Friend Rabbit for them to watch while I get the breakfast dishes washed.  Finally – one moment of progress!

While my children are occupied, I take the opportunity to start on my blog.  But Taytem has a honing device for whenever I’m writing my blog, and she heads upstairs to tell me she’s hungry again.  I swear, you’d think my child was Michael Phelps the way she’s constantly famished.  I tell her she can find her own snack, and please give me a few minutes to finish my writing.  She interrupts eight more times while asking about this or that snack, or if I can help her open something, or if she can just look at my blog.  Blogging takes about 5 times longer than it should.  It’s finally nap-time, and I manage to get the bottom floor of the house at least picked up, and by then, my 4 o’clock slump sets in that tells me I’m exhausted.  My shoulders start to ache and I get desperately sleepy.  I insist that there’s no good reason for me to be so exhausted, but my body argues with me and it usually wins.  This is a body chemistry issue that is being addressed by my doctor, so hopefully, this will not be the case for much longer.  In the meantime, I know I can’t take a nap or I won’t sleep all night, so I “rest” by watching Jon Stewart on The Daily Show, or “pinning” on Pinterest.  Then I accidentally fall asleep.  Lukus comes home to his wife in bed, just the way he left her that morning, with little evidence that she was ever awake at all.

And because I took a nap, I can’t sleep that night, and the cycle begins anew all over again.

I need help – professional help.  As in “someone else needs to help me educate my children at least two days a week because I’m mildly self-destructive and can’t seem to get my act together” kind of help.  So our appointment is on Thursday.  I’ll let you know if a maid that helps do the laundry and dishes is included in the tuition fees.  I’m guessing it’s not, but no one had ever heard of “two-day-a-week school” either, so anything’s possible.  Except me getting up at 6 a.m.  Apparently, that’s the one thing on earth that’s not possible.