Bow-chicka-bow-bow – it’s time for some sexy talk – some sexy bedroom decorating talk….aaaaand, I just lost the guy readers.

When we first moved into The Ugly House, the master bathroom was priority one, but attached to it was this:

It was a nice, large, sunny room, but the sea-foam green carpet, those medieval chain lamps and the bars on the windows made the room feel like more of a moldy tower in a castle built for the Brady Bunch.  Even with a hot-pink kitchen and purple velvet walls downstairs, the master bedroom easily became priority two.

I have a philosophy about master bedrooms: they’re, like, really important and stuff.  Seriously though, most of us try to keep our living rooms and common areas clean in case company stops by, so we shove the piles of fresh laundry into a corner of our bedroom, we dump our keys, receipts and loose change onto a dresser, ignore our husband’s dirty socks by the bed and go fluff pillows on the couch instead.

But unless you have company dropping by every single day, think about the message that sends to your spouse, your friend and lover who is there every single day.  This is the most important person in your life, so the space you share together should convey that very sentiment.

So even though my bedroom is still a long ways off from me wanting to send in an entry to “Rate My Space”, I’ve gathered a few principles and rules for creating a space that’s meaningful, comfortable and inviting for romance for me and Lukus.  Please continue to forgive the photo quality.  I am still learning how to use my fancy-shmancy camera.

#1 Color – Obviously, color in any room is important.  But for a sexy master bedroom, you have to decide whether you want to go for straight up bold and sensuous, or relaxed and calm.  We went with calm.  We always go with calm in our room because I have no desire to ever wake up to scarlet or plum walls in the morning.  With this room, we mixed the gray from our master bathroom with some white paint to get it about two shades lighter, and the adjoining rooms coordinate perfectly.  We went with white bedding because there is just nothing more comfy looking about a bed than if it looks like a cloud.  The purple, navy and periwinkle accents were inspired  by our wedding colors from 10 years ago.  Not only do we still like those colors, but it adds a bit of “throwback romance” to the room.

#2 Style – REMEMBER THE MAN!  Whenever I walk into a “romantic” bedroom that’s all flowers and pinks or blues, I swoon a little.  My husband would puke a little.  I always feel sorry for any husband who has to sleep amidst ruffles and lace and flowers.  Fortunately, I happen to also have a lot of masculine preferences to coordinate with my husband’s taste.  We like modern, clean lines and neutrals.  Not everyone does, but at least try to find both masculine and feminine elements that both of you can enjoy.  I’ve also found that instead of asking my husband if he likes what I’ve picked out (to which he usually says “sure”), I get a lot more out of him if I ask him what his favorite item is.

Like this candle.

Every sexy bedroom’s gotta have candles, and this was the acceptable “man candle” for Lukus’ bedside.  My bedside candle is a white lotus flower, but this navy moroccan print appealed to Lukus (once he accepted the fact that there will be a candle on his night-stand).

#3 Boundaries – Our bedroom is essentially sacred space for me and Lukus.  We don’t co-sleep with our kids.  Our kids cannot bring their toys into our room to play.  In fact, we don’t even have photos of our kids in our bedroom.  There are plenty of spaces all over the house for family play, for children’s pictures and wrestling matches.  But we like to keep our room OURS to remind us that we are each other’s number one priority.  Before we were parents, we were still a family, and someday when we’re empty nester’s, Lukus and I will still be a family.  Not to mention that family photos on the walls during make-out sessions make me feel a little awkward.  I did, however, hang these frames – the two on the outside are framed love letters written by each of us back in the day.

And this poster of Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday doesn’t make me feel awkward at all.  Sometimes, I kinda think of Lukus as a blonde Gregory Peck.  At least in the nose-area.  Maybe?  Lukus bought me this poster back in college, so it goes with the whole romantic-aura.

Oh, and keeping our bedroom sacred also means we don’t have a television or a treadmill in our room.  There’s no desk, sports equipment or guitar amp.  And no dog.  It’s just ours.  If it wouldn’t be in a bed & breakfast, it wouldn’t be in our room.

My getting glamourous space:

That wooden dish is our “drop-zone” for cell-phones, receipts, batteries…or whatever random stuff that I don’t want cluttering up our oasis.  And yes, I did realize that our wedding photo is quite crooked.

Lukus’s gettin’ good-lookin’ space:

My little spot where I have my morning tea:

We’re still not finished with this room, since we’ve got this awkward piece of furniture in the corner:

It was the first piece of furniture that Lukus and I ever bought – an entertainment center from Pier 1.  Now it holds an electric kettle, some mugs, honey and peach tea so I can make tea in the mornings, along with my cell phone charger and my camera bag.  I’m not sure what to think of it, but it’s functional and sentimental for now, even if it’s a bit awkwardly placed.

Then again, I don’t like a room that’s too perfect.  The purple tie that’s draped over the large dressing mirror:  that was Lukus just changing out of his work clothes and not wanting to put his tie away.  I thought it was a nice, casual addition, so I left it there.  I kinda miss it when he wears it to work on other days.  And the huge stacks of books on my end tables?  Yeah, it’s cluttery.  But I happen to love book clutter.  Perfection is not the goal.  Absolute comfort and romance is.

So here’s my checklist of what I’ve gathered over the years from magazine photos, hotels, HGTV make-overs and practical experience for elements for a sexy bedroom.  This list is not about design so much as it’s about those little extras that turn a beautiful room into a romantic getaway in your own home.  In fact, our room isn’t finished at all “design-wise”, but I at least try to make sure these elements are always around:

• Colors that make the mood
• Soft lighting
• Plenty of candles (but not so much it’s a shrine) or fireplace w/lighter
• Large dressing mirror
• Platform bed with comfortable headboard
• End tables with drawers/cabinets to decrease clutter
• The nicest sheets, pillows & comforter one can afford
• Lounge chairs
• Bedside rugs & house slippers
• Romantic artwork
• Massage accessories
• Small buffet table for coffee/tea maker
• Masculine & feminine elements of design
• Pajamas & lingerie stored carefully
• Flowers in a pretty vase
• Some greenery to add life and natural elements to the room
• Mints & chapstick by the bed
• Stereo with mood music
• Changing screen
• Rice bags to warm feet in bed
• Breakfast trays for breakfast in bed
• Dry erase marker for love notes on the mirror
• Vanity table and mirror
• Bath & beauty accessories
• Love poetry books
• Personal displays of love story

Quotes taken from Elle Decor:

“A sexy bedroom should be like a romantic French boudoir, with lots and lots of luxury bedding.” —Cathy Hobbs, founder, Aphereä Design, apherea.com.

“There’s nothing more romantic than serving your partner breakfast in bed, when it is totally unexpected.”—Eric Cohler, Eric Cohler Design Inc., ericcohler.com.

“Other than the kitchen table, there’s no more romantic place than the bedroom—and it should be more comfortable.” —Rebecca Cole, Rebecca Cole Design, colecreates.com.

“Keep fabrics simple: People should be the ones adding the pattern and texture to the bedroom.” —Benjamin Noriega-Ortiz, bnodesign.com.

“Studies show that having a TV in the bedroom decreases the amount of sex by 40%.” —Amy Lau,amylaudesign.com.

“Lights dimmed, music playing, candles burning: Design is a good tool to communicate your desires.” —Robert Verdi, robertverdi.com.

“I think what makes a bedroom sexy is the people in it.” —Harry Heissmann, designer, Albert Hadley Inc.