From that point on, I developed the most pathetic crush known to the female gender, and my only consolation in this crush was that I had a neighbor in Crushville, home of the anguishly, pathetically, love struck, sappy-faced, giggly girls who go to bed sighing. Her name was Renee, and she was completely infatuated with Brenden. The four of us began to hang-out with regularity, with both guys entirely oblivious to our sweaty armpits, extra high-pitched laughs, and wide-eyed eagerness at every mundane word they spoke. They were oblivious to our blatant signs of love, because they were in Mancrush Town, residence of guys who strut and swagger to hide their nervousness, who forget the names of the girls they’re sitting with when the girls they like walk into the room. Mancrush Town is an ugly place, and few women find the guys who live there attractive. Brenden and Lukus had crushes on two roommates, who had crushes on two other roommates, who probably had crushes on two other roommates. It was pitiful. I had never experienced such a crush or the pathetic-ness that accompanied it.
After a fun night of sitting around Lake Evelyn or going to the movies, Renee and I would hug the guys goodnight and crawl back to our rooms wondering why they couldn’t just hurry up and love us. Did we not faithfully ditch our floor’s table to go sit at theirs (at ORU, there aren’t exclusive sororities or fraternities. Each dorm floor is a fraternity or sorority of sorts, and each floor has a corresponding brother- or sister-wing)? Did we not sit next to them in all of our classes together? Did we not go to their intramural basketball games, or to see their band play? Yes, they started a band. It was called Awestruck, and Brenden sang and Lukus played guitar. At the time, they were SO cool, and it only made them that much more attractive to us. But did they notice? No! They kept doing cute, sweet, sexy things that kept making us fall further and further into the heart of Crushville without ever noticing our agony. Which is probably for the best, ‘cuz pathetic ain’t sexy. I guess somehow we managed to keep our act together during all those painful “friend dates” and we held out long enough that the two girls who held our guys captive in Mancrush Town, eventually started dating other guys and faded from our guys’ interest. And like the silly women who wait years for their boyfriend to get out of jail, there we were, waiting faithfully. They still didn’t notice.